Are all sororities really that different?
I mean really. At our core -what do we stand for? You see the same words pop up at every sorority recruitment event... sisterhood, leadership, love, loyalty, service, yadaa, yadaa, yadaa! I have been seeing this more and more and sorority recruitment is getting ready to be in full swing across the country. Women at colleges and universities everywhere are signing up for recruitment, getting ready, buying new outfits, and accepting bids to their forever homes. YAY!
As exciting as this is.... What are we REALLY looking like during recruitment? What do we look like with our sorority make up on?
What is make up for? What does it do for a women? Give us confidence, makes us look awake, hides imperfections. Well, guess what ladies, our sororities have make up too -and its called recruitment. I mean it, look at the details. Notice the color of everyone's nails, the decoration on the walls, the intent in the conversation. Sororities dress up to make you want to be them. It's a harsh reality.
The NPC (National Panhellenic Conference) issued a "no frills" recruitment strategy a few years ago. This means the organizations should not be spending upwards of $10,000, like my undergraduate chapter, for recruitment. In a nutshell, this forwards the idea that recruitment is based on conversation and people vs. talking points and wall decor.
Here are the facts, with no make up: We sell something during recruitment. We sell an image, and idea, and a lifestyle. This is what we want the new members to see, to fall in love with, and to say yes to. This is our recruitment experience with make up.
Take the make up off.... What do you see?
Many women think it is interesting that after 2 weeks the recruitment is over, you have a big, and the image, idea, and lifestyle you fell in love with during recruitment is gone. The make up has been removed -and all you're left with is pure (sometimes ugly) truth. Cause after the glamour and the "pretty girls" go away, the real sorority (or fraternity) comes out.
It's time we have a real conversation between what we are selling during recruitment and what we actually are as an organization. Guess what, If you sell sisterhood and service events during recruitment but rage nightly and talk shit about your sisters while drunk... Your Make Up and No-MakeUp face are TOTALLY DIFFERENT! and our new members don't even know until it's to late.
A few weeks ago I was talking to a chapter of women and said "Ladies, if you are the party organization, you should talk about beer, drinks and parties during recruitment. You should sell what you are. That way, you attract the women who are about that life. And when you get enough of those women in your chapter, we will shut you down because those values are not what we, or your founders, stand for."
How do you "take the makeup" off during recruitment? Are you selling your true self? Or are you giving an image and lifestyle that even you cannot keep up?
Wearing make up can alter the way people see you, and let's be honest, we all look better with make up on.
Friday, September 13, 2013
Wednesday, March 20, 2013
spring cleaning
Well, its been a LONG WHILE since I've put my thoughts on paper... minus the reflection papers I write for grad school. And speaking of, grad school really has gotten the best for me. I've been busy with graduation requirements, wedding planning, wrapping up an assistantship, job searching, and no free time: whew! But I'm back- and have lots to share.
Let's get started.
Today is the first day of spring. In Ohio, however, its snowing. #NotOKAY! And as spring has officially begun in so many other places in this beautiful country of ours, I want to focus on spring cleaning. So many fraternity men and sorority women drop their jaws when they hear me say this....either in confusion or shock and awe.
So what is spring cleaning? Exactly what you think it is. As you would typically clean out your closet, storage unit, junk drawer, school binder, whatever; you should do the same for your fraternal organization.
Shocked yet? Good. You should be.
After all, this is not a junk drawer or storage unit. Its our forever organizations. But why do we do spring cleaning in certain spaces in our house? I just cleaned out my closet last week and have bags on bags to take to Goodwill. I did this because I needed more room for more clothes (just being honest), the clothes didn't fit anymore, I didn't wear them, and they were just sitting in my closet not being used.
Flip that into your organizaiton. How many of your members are just sitting there, not being used, and don't fit? Really, think about it. What are your members doing to benefit your organization? Let's look at it like this, your organization is your closet. Your members are your clothes.
I have my go-to clothing articles in my closet that I love: Black blazer, lace dress, my favorite jeans, black skinny jeans, floral skirt, mint blue skirt, white silk top, and a few other pieces that are just solid. I know I will never want to get rid of them until they are ruined. They are my go-to pieces.
Who are your go-to members in your organization that when they graduate- you will miss them, their guidance, their thoughts, and their direction for the chapter? (be sure to tell them thank you by the way).
Next in my closet I have my shoe section- UGH! SHOES! I love shoes.... Anyway, I have 3 different styles of shoes in my closet: work, fashion, comfort. I love all of my shoes in different ways and even though they may not all be used often, they are used and give me lots of different looks for my outfits.
Who are you comfort, work, and fashion shoe members in your organization? These members, even though you dont see them around long, they are there and help whenever they are needed. Some are there in different ways, but still... they have your back.
Another section of clothes I have in my closet is the seasonal pieces. I am so ready to put those sweaters, leggings, and cardigans away for spring, but they are still needed. I also have my sandals, shorts, and bathing suits that are used only during some parts of the year.
Who are your seasonal members? Who do you not see until recruitment starts? Or that big even is starting to be planned. We all have "seasonal" members.
Finally, I have the crap I buy- that I know I will wear, and never do. Like my black and white vans, a fury vest (it was cute and so fashion forward!), a turtleneck, and anything with a trapeze neckline! All of these things you will now find in the goodwill bag ready to go out the door.
Let's focus on these members.
Something I did 3 months ago was turn all my hangers around in my closet. If I have not worn certain clothing within those 3 months, they're gone.
I want you to think about what members you have not seen in 3 months? If they have not done anything in three months- what are they adding to your organization? What are they adding to your closet?
As I said before, now is the time to do some spring cleaning. Remember why I did:
1. I needed more room for more clothes (just being honest). Guess what, with recruitment in the fall, YOU will need more room in your organization for member who will be used and who will turn into your go-to members. MAKE ROOM FOR THEM!
2. The clothes didn't fit anymore. This is my favorite thing to talk to members about... The reason why is because your priorities and values may change as you move throughout college. Your organization may not fit you anymore. You may not see what you thought you did when you joined. Whether it be because of members graduating, brotherhood/sisterhood changing, secret events (either ritual or hazing), or other reasons, you just don't fit. I am here to tell you- THAT IS OKAY! Yes, you made a commitment. But people end more serious commitments than this everyday. If you feel like you do not "fit" with your organization anymore AND have tried to do other things to fix that fit.... maybe its best for you to simply move on. Because if you do not fit, you're probably doing more harm than good.
3. I didn't wear them. Think about it, if you're not using your members to move your organization upward and onward, why would you keep them? Why would they stay?
4. They were just sitting in my closet not being used. Similarly to #3, why would you keep something in your organization, that is just sitting there, more than likely complaining, about everything. One bad piece in a wardrobe really can throw off the whole look. Get rid of that bad look. It's not cute.
So, start your spring cleaning, take the Judicial board out, use your advisors, and have conversations with members that will start them thinking about where they fit into the closet.
Because think about it...what would we do with a closet full of go-to, favorite clothes?!
Let's get started.
Today is the first day of spring. In Ohio, however, its snowing. #NotOKAY! And as spring has officially begun in so many other places in this beautiful country of ours, I want to focus on spring cleaning. So many fraternity men and sorority women drop their jaws when they hear me say this....either in confusion or shock and awe.
So what is spring cleaning? Exactly what you think it is. As you would typically clean out your closet, storage unit, junk drawer, school binder, whatever; you should do the same for your fraternal organization.
Shocked yet? Good. You should be.
After all, this is not a junk drawer or storage unit. Its our forever organizations. But why do we do spring cleaning in certain spaces in our house? I just cleaned out my closet last week and have bags on bags to take to Goodwill. I did this because I needed more room for more clothes (just being honest), the clothes didn't fit anymore, I didn't wear them, and they were just sitting in my closet not being used.
Flip that into your organizaiton. How many of your members are just sitting there, not being used, and don't fit? Really, think about it. What are your members doing to benefit your organization? Let's look at it like this, your organization is your closet. Your members are your clothes.
I have my go-to clothing articles in my closet that I love: Black blazer, lace dress, my favorite jeans, black skinny jeans, floral skirt, mint blue skirt, white silk top, and a few other pieces that are just solid. I know I will never want to get rid of them until they are ruined. They are my go-to pieces.
Who are your go-to members in your organization that when they graduate- you will miss them, their guidance, their thoughts, and their direction for the chapter? (be sure to tell them thank you by the way).
Next in my closet I have my shoe section- UGH! SHOES! I love shoes.... Anyway, I have 3 different styles of shoes in my closet: work, fashion, comfort. I love all of my shoes in different ways and even though they may not all be used often, they are used and give me lots of different looks for my outfits.
Who are you comfort, work, and fashion shoe members in your organization? These members, even though you dont see them around long, they are there and help whenever they are needed. Some are there in different ways, but still... they have your back.
Another section of clothes I have in my closet is the seasonal pieces. I am so ready to put those sweaters, leggings, and cardigans away for spring, but they are still needed. I also have my sandals, shorts, and bathing suits that are used only during some parts of the year.
Who are your seasonal members? Who do you not see until recruitment starts? Or that big even is starting to be planned. We all have "seasonal" members.
Finally, I have the crap I buy- that I know I will wear, and never do. Like my black and white vans, a fury vest (it was cute and so fashion forward!), a turtleneck, and anything with a trapeze neckline! All of these things you will now find in the goodwill bag ready to go out the door.
Let's focus on these members.
Something I did 3 months ago was turn all my hangers around in my closet. If I have not worn certain clothing within those 3 months, they're gone.
I want you to think about what members you have not seen in 3 months? If they have not done anything in three months- what are they adding to your organization? What are they adding to your closet?
As I said before, now is the time to do some spring cleaning. Remember why I did:
1. I needed more room for more clothes (just being honest). Guess what, with recruitment in the fall, YOU will need more room in your organization for member who will be used and who will turn into your go-to members. MAKE ROOM FOR THEM!
2. The clothes didn't fit anymore. This is my favorite thing to talk to members about... The reason why is because your priorities and values may change as you move throughout college. Your organization may not fit you anymore. You may not see what you thought you did when you joined. Whether it be because of members graduating, brotherhood/sisterhood changing, secret events (either ritual or hazing), or other reasons, you just don't fit. I am here to tell you- THAT IS OKAY! Yes, you made a commitment. But people end more serious commitments than this everyday. If you feel like you do not "fit" with your organization anymore AND have tried to do other things to fix that fit.... maybe its best for you to simply move on. Because if you do not fit, you're probably doing more harm than good.
3. I didn't wear them. Think about it, if you're not using your members to move your organization upward and onward, why would you keep them? Why would they stay?
4. They were just sitting in my closet not being used. Similarly to #3, why would you keep something in your organization, that is just sitting there, more than likely complaining, about everything. One bad piece in a wardrobe really can throw off the whole look. Get rid of that bad look. It's not cute.
So, start your spring cleaning, take the Judicial board out, use your advisors, and have conversations with members that will start them thinking about where they fit into the closet.
Because think about it...what would we do with a closet full of go-to, favorite clothes?!
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