After a long hiatus of travel and moving, I have really been hit with the Greek Passion bug. I've always had the fever for Greek Life and the fraternal movement, but I have been seeing things in a different light.
I think every dad has signature stories that stick in the minds of their children for years and years. For me, its one simple story. I even told this story to the hard ass I had as a driving instructor, he actually laughed. The story goes like this: A man was driving one day as he came to a stop sign. He slowed down enough to appear as if he stopped and crept through the stop sign. He didn't see the police officer sitting just down the road. The police officer followed him and after a while of tailing, and the man sweating, the police officer pulled him over. "Do you know why I pulled you over?" asked the police officer. "No I don't officer" replied the man. "You ran that stop sign back there, you did not stop" the officer stated. "Well officer there was no one else on the road and I figured slowing down would be okay" explained the man. The police officer then took out his bully stick and began hitting the man on the arm. "What the hell?!" exclaimed the man. The police officer said, "now do you want me to slow down or stop?"
I promise Ill make my point soon.
This summer I am honored to be interning with a world-changing organization -HazingPrevention.Org. This non-profit organization has one goal, to empower others to prevent hazing. Seems simple, right? I thought so too to be honest. I've never had a serious 'issue' with hazing. I mean, on the hazing scale I would say my experience have been on the less severe side of the equation. My memories from my sorority experience are nothing short of amazing. Every moment I spent with my sisters was a moment that I knew I would never get back, and we lived those moments as such. I did this even more so as a first year student. As a high school student, I had limited experience with alcohol; by that I mean I never drank. So when I came to college and joined a sorority, I drank [Yes, mom and dad, it happened]. I began hanging out with girls I thought were popular in my organization. I wanted to be popular too. After all, one of five basic human needs is belonging (Choice Theory). I lived this way until one very crucial moment- a moment I will forever remember.
One Sunday after a chapter meeting, I was asked to say behind to speak with a senior member of the sorority. She pulled me aside and talked to me about the social we had just had the Thursday before. Even thought others had told me I was out of control -I did not care. I was living in the moment with no concern for the next day including class, how I was portraying the sorority, or myself for that matter. I was a problem. This senior member looked me in the eye and instead of saying "I'm not happy with the way you acted", she said "Bonny if you keep going down this track, you may not be in Zeta next year". So basically, I would just stop being a Zeta. At the time those words didn't mean much to me at the time. Sure I was scared and nervous of loosing friends, opportunity, and partying, but other than that, it was just an organization. But looking back those words as I sit in this chair, it breaks my heart. I understand that as a 18-year-old I could never quite understand. This older member continued to simply brake down and ask me questions about how I was acting. It was simple, yet made the biggest difference. She asked me to stop acting the way I was acting and to live up to the values of our founders. She had me sit down and go through our sorority initiation ritual. I took it all in. Every word. Every action as I played back the ceremony in my head from my initiation. Then she asked me to evaluate the creed. She asked me what I thought it meant, and from there I've found the words I live by. "To realize that within our grasp in Zeta Tau Alpha lies the opportunity to learn those things which will even enrich and ennoble our lives".
Let's break it down.
... So to I had to understand the fact that within this organization I held an opportunity, it was MY chance, to grow, to learn, and to develop into the women I wanted, into the women Zeta's founders pictured. But this chance was in my hand and I had the power to figure out what I wanted to do with it. So from that moment on, I never took another chance or opportunity for granted because this first line of my creed applies to more than just Zeta Tau Alpha. It applies to whatever organization you are in. Whether it be band, a fraternity, a job position, or other experience I am able to have. But if it weren't for this older member of my sorority saying "you need to stop it" I may not have had this experience or chance to realize what my organization means to me.
It's similar to the police officer. If the police officer would have never asked the man in the car to stop, he would have simply continued rolling through the stop sign, just as I would have continued rolling through my sorority experience if it were not for that older member.
Often times we think no one is watching what we are doing. Whether its rolling through a stop sign on a desolate street or partying a little to hard at a sorority function; cheating on a test or skipping out early to lunch; people, including me, often do not understand integrity. If you wouldn't do it in front of a police officer, your sorority founders, boss, or friend, you should probably not do it simple because you think you are alone. However, it often takes a brave person to step up and talk to you about how you are acting, about how you should be acting. And whether thats a police officer or a sorority older member, its those people in your life that make you realize how much opportunity you truly have right within your reach -and to me, its these people, this sorority older member, that I am thankful for everyday.
"There are two types of evil people in this world. Those who do mean things and those who watch as mean things happen"- Janis Ian, Mean Girls
