Ring's on it!

So as crazy as it is to believe, IM ENGAGED! Its been about 2 months, but it still surprises me and hits me everyday. I totally geek out sometimes thinking about it! Ugh, my dreams are coming true and the love of my life is now my soon-to-be husband. I feel so thankful to have met Chris and I cannot wait to spend my life with him.

At this point in my life, I have been doing a lot of thinking- about my best friends, sisters, littles, and those who mean the world to me; those who I want to be standing next to me on my big day, and those I want there to see me say "I DO" to the most wonderful man in the world.

So as you can imagine, after the proposal of my dreams I immediately wanted to call my parents, Chris' parents, and my best friends. After getting in touch with all of them, I started to think about my bridesmaids and maid of honor. I got so excited to plan a wedding with Chris and my best friends. Every girl thinks about this moment, dreams about this moment, when a shining knight will sweep them off their feet and present them with a beautiful, shiny ring. But for me, its more than that.

When I received a bid to join ZTA, I was excited to receive new "sisters".  In 2006, I really didn't know what that meant. I didn't know what I was getting into, what I was joining, what I was saying. I simply knew that these women, these Zetas, understood me and liked me for me. And, because I was a freshman, I wanted to belong. I jumped in and never looked back. I am so glad I did.

As I have said before, being a sorority woman has changed my life. Now that I am a Fraternity and Sorority Life professional, I have conversations with my students. I call them "Coming to Jesus moments". These moments are full of fun, love, and students coming to their own realizations. In the spring last year, I was able to have a great "coming to Jesus moment" with one of the fraternity men I advise. It was a good one. He came to me with an issue, one that reflected his fraternity as a whole. But he could not see how it went past him. You see, when we all join a Fraternity or Sorority, we tend to not realize that it is more than just us now. We represent ourselves, others, our brothers and sisters, our national organization, and Greek men and women as a whole. It's something that takes time to understand and grasp. I didn't understand this until I was a senior in college. If I would have thought about the span of my representation, I would have changed the way I acted in a hurry!

Anyway, this conversation with a student became just this converstaion. A realization that he represented more than just himself. He was ________, a member of XYZ Fraternity. Just as I am Bonny, a sister of Zeta Tau Alpha. This was now part of who I am. And as I invested myself in it my sorority, it became a part of who I am. Now that this fraternity man was a part of an organization he represented himself and his letters; because that is all he saw in the mirror. The fact is, many of us see only what is in the mirror. We see what directly affects us. Only as a fraternity man or sorority woman, we have to learn to look past just our reflection and see what is behind us. Have you ever heard "I have your back" from a sister or brother? They will. But you need to see that when you look in the mirror. So now your reflection consists of you, your letters, and your sister/brother. What about who has their back? And their back? and that persons back?

This is what our reflection truly looks like: we look in the mirror with 3 letters on our chest (sometimes two). Behind those letters and your smile, you see your brothers/sister, you see your bigs and littles, grandlittles, alumni, advisors, other chapters, the national organization, and other organizations that represent Greeks as a whole. We have to see past our own reflection and see who else we represent.

When you get engaged,  you think possibilities, of the future, a little bit of the past, and what all of these things have in common. I honestly didn't start thinking of all these things until I had taken a few glances at my ring. and when I look at my ring, I see my fiance, I see my future. But that is what I would see at face value. Upon looking deeper, I think about all the things that have shaped me into who I am, the person that Chris fell in love with. I think of those past memories that have chipped away at me to make me a puzzle piece that fits with Chris. I think about those people that helped chip away at me. I see all of those things in my ring.

After it all, I realize that a reflection is much more that what you see in the mirror. It has to do with the people starting back at you. And whether those people have your back as you stare at yourself in that lettered shirt in the mirror, or those people are standing by you at your wedding, those sisters/brothers are there. and the effort of seeing past the initial reflection is what is most meaningful.

I cannot wait to have my sisters standing by me when I marry the man of my dreams just as I know Chris will have his brothers standing by his side. Two families will become one and the people I see in my reflection will grow as I represent even more people besides myself.

Even though our reflection and our experience may change, when you look in the mirror remember, fraternity is forever. And when I look at my ring, I'll remember the same thing.

Carisa's Mirror

Involving yourself in something: a person, an organization, a fraternity or sorority; and it will involve itself in you.  When you look in the mirror what do you see? Do you see something you like? Love? Hate? Do you see the reflection looking back at you?

In the fraternity and sorority world, there is a saying: “you are always wearing your letters” or “when you represent those letters, you represent all of us”. Even though there is great truth behind them, I know how cliché they are. So my statement is: “When you look in the mirror, look past the reflection, and focus on the memories that got you there. Those memories create the person you see”.

The other day I was thinking about this as I was driving home. We all have some crazy experiences that make us who we are- and since I was driving, I was thinking about driving and how much this experience has influenced my life.

In 2011, January 28^th to be exact, I received another memory to but in my reflection. I remember it like it was yesterday-

It was my previous boyfriend’s birthday. We were out to dinner with some friends around 6pm. We were having a blast! Dinner was great and everyone was laughing, smiling, and celebrating a wonderful person’s birthday. A little later that night, I felt my phone vibrating. I pulled it out of my purse, and it was one of my littles- Liz. Now Liz and I were not the closest at this time. We talked every once in and a while but this time when she was calling me, I felt something different. Since I was at dinner, I would call her back later. I hit ignore and put my phone back in my purse.

About an hour later- around 8pm, we left the restaurant and walked down the outdoor mall strip to Yogurt Mountain- ‘YOMO’-which is the best frozen yogurt ever! It has bright green and purple walls with nothing but pictures of, what looks like, amazing treats and yogurt all over the wall- it smelled like waffle cone and heaven. It was the perfect place to get a post-dinner, birthday treat. We laughed the whole way there and were having a blast still celebrating. Since none of my sorority sisters were at the dinner, I was excited to walk in the doors of YOMO and see about 8 sisters sitting at a table. I immediately smiled big and as soon as the words “How are…..” came out of my mouth, my mood immediately changed.

I realized they had been crying and were clearly consoling each other. My “how are you?” immediately turned into “what’s wrong?”. One of the members grabbed my hand, pulled me close as she sat in the metal chair, and looked at the other sisters sitting with her and said “She doesn’t know”. Her eyes turned to me “Oh my God, Bon; you don’t know.” I will never forget the look in Alyssa’s eyes as she said those words to me. She pulled me down so I was squatted at her side. Still holding my hand, which was now resting under her’s on the shiny metal arm of the chair she leaned in and said “Carisa’s dead”.

“What?” I said.

“She’s gone, Bonny. She died.”

I’m sure I turned pale white. I felt the blood rush out of my face and into my feet. I pulled my hand out from under her’s and onto my mouth as I started to rise to my feet. I felt like I was going in slow motion.  I finally got to my feet, which seemed like it took 10 minutes. Alyssa just looked at me with tears welling up in her eyes. I turned to the door and fell into it, opening it onto the sidewalk outside. I just stood there shaking. My boyfriend came out and just grabbed me and held me as I begin to cry.

My phone. I had to call Liz.

Carisa is my grandlittle. Carisa is Liz’s little sister.

I put up my forearm to my boyfriends chest, reached around with my left arm and reached into my bag to grab my phone; my hands were so clammy. I hit dial.

Ring.

Ring.

sobs….. “Big….”

Liz and I sat on the phone saying nothing- we let our tears do all the talking. I walked down the plaza strip, still in shock, and finally found a wooden bench to sit on and start to realize what I had just heard. The words “she’s gone” were playing over and over in my mind.

Later that night, the university had opened a room on campus for sorority sisters and friends of Carisa to all meet and process what happened. I arrived and as a recently graduated member of my sorority family, I felt I pull to hold us all together. Liz lived out of state at the time and was flying in the next day but without her, I felt it was a duty to stand up for my family in a time of crisis. I walked into the open room to meet my littles, other grand littles, great grand littles, and other members I had been a role model to over my years in Zeta. We all just stood there embracing each other. We were all crying and wanted to escape the room and just get away from all these people who were crying. I felt as if everyone was there- whether they knew Carisa or not; and I’ll be honest, that bothered me. I didn’t like the thought of someone who spelled Carisa’s name with two S’s (Carissa), coming up to be saying, “I’m so sorry. We are all so sad” or “I’m here for you”.  It drove me nuts. I couldn’t imagine how the other members of my sorority family felt.

We all sat down and the Dean of Students, who is a Zeta Tau Alpha alumna, said a few words. It still felt surreal to me, like I was having an out of body experience, like the ground was falling out from under me but I was still standing on it looking down into a black hole- I think that is how a lot of the sister felt. After the few short words form the dean and a few more words from counselors and the Vice President for Student Affairs, my and my little Allison and grand little Amanda got in the car and drove to a near by apartment where the rest of my sorority family and gathered. I walked slowly up to the third floor where, as I opened the door, I saw nothing but crying sisters on the floor. I remember seeing my Great grand little, Adrianne. Her long blonde hair was covering her face and as she saw me walk in the door, she immediately rose to her feet and quickly walked over to me. She gave me the most meaningful hug- It gives me chills to think about it. We didn’t say anything. It was nice to just know that we were there for each other. As she pulled away I had stopped crying, I knew I had to be strong- especially for Adrianne, I looked her in the eyes and said “I love you and I will love you just as Carisa did. I’m always here for you”. After standing in the room for about an hour without tears, I knew it was time to go home. After all, at this point I thought I would be teaching the next day and had to be to work at 6:30am. I went home to my empty apartment and just sat there in the quiet with my dog at my feet. I didn’t know what to think or what to do. I called my boyfriend and immediately went to his apartment. I couldn’t be alone that night.

Plans were quickly made for Carisa wake and memorial service on campus. The memorial service was held on a Sunday night on the FGCU campus right outside the student union on the lawn. All our sisters and alumni gathered in a room in the student union to walk over together. As I walked in this room, I immediately saw my best friend Lori standing at the back of the room. I walked over to her with a smile on my face and so happy to see her. She opened her arms and asked “are you okay?”. Until this point, I had been. I was the strong member for our family, I had been carrying us, them, through the mayhem and I wouldn’t, couldn’t let them see me as weak. But when Lori asked me these three simple words, I melted as I buried my head into her neck and started crying and the words “No, I’m not okay” weakly left my body.

As we all started walking out the memorial service I knew I was going to have to say a few words about Carisa. At this point, I started growing weaker, nervous, and the strength I once carried was now nothing but desperation for the next 15 minutes to be over. After prayers, comments, and songs; it was my turn to take the microphone. I honestly don’t know what came out of my mouth. I just looked to the sky, and started talking- and for some reason, I felt Carisa there with me, with our sisters, and with the over 1,000 students that had gathered to remember her. It was a tragically beautiful moment. The next few days brought much of the same. The wake and funeral happened and I more in those few days than I had in quite some time- and through it all, I still felt as if I was changed in some way for the better.

The reason I said is in my description of who Carisa was is because once someone like Carisa came into your life, you would never be the same. Even though she is not here anymore, does not mean she is not still my grand little, or was a memory. She is a memory. A blessed, beautiful memory that I think about almost daily as I travel through life. As we all travel through life there are moments that change us forever. Car accidents, deaths, live, my decision to join Zeta, your decision to join whatever organization you represent, these are all moments that make us who we are and influence our outlook on life, and our reflection in the mirror.

Think about it, what experience have you had that made the biggest impact on your life? Signing your bid card? Losing someone you love? Attending a wedding? Experiencing something with your sisters?  Think about the people who helped you get through it. And think of how you know those people. Those are the people you want to surround yourself with- because those are the people that matter, will help you grow, and understand where you have been. I am blessed to say Zeta Tau Alpha has given me that experience, because I have involved myself in it –even after graduation. Now, it has involved itself in me …. And the ever-growing passion I have for members of Zeta and women like Carisa.

Even though this was [tragic] a defining moment in my life, I tried to keep in mind that everything happens for a reason. You see, every moment in our lives creates the person you see looking in the mirror at you. Even if you do not like that person now, that person has a purpose. Carisa had, HAS, a purpose and every time I look up at the sky, I think of my littles, my grandlittles, and my Zeta family, my sisters and best friends, and realize that every moment is precious, lasting, and you can never get it back. None of us are promised tomorrow, so we should all make the most out of today. I was lucky enough to have Carisa involve herself in me. I am just lucky enough to have grown from her. So think of the people, organizations, and things you can grow from and surround yourself. Because as you grow, you will grow look back one day at your experiences as you look in the mirror and realize those people helped make you who you are.

Im glad Carisa is a part of my life and I’m so happy and blessed she helped me grow and learn to see the person I see in the mirror everyday with "LOVE.... the greatest of all things."

Dad's Story, My Sorority.

After a long hiatus of travel and moving, I have really been hit with the Greek Passion bug. I've always had the fever for Greek Life and the fraternal movement, but I have been seeing things in a different light.

I think every dad has signature stories that stick in the minds of their children for years and years. For me, its one simple story. I even told this story to the hard ass I had as a driving instructor, he actually laughed. The story goes like this: A man was driving one day as he came to a stop sign. He slowed down enough to appear as if he stopped and crept through the stop sign. He didn't see the police officer sitting just down the road. The police officer followed him and after a while of tailing, and the man sweating, the police officer pulled him over. "Do you know why I pulled you over?" asked the police officer. "No I don't officer" replied the man. "You ran that stop sign back there, you did not stop" the officer stated. "Well officer there was no one else on the road and I figured slowing down would be okay" explained the man. The police officer then took out his bully stick and began hitting the man on the arm. "What the hell?!" exclaimed the man. The police officer said, "now do you want me to slow down or stop?"

I promise Ill make my point soon.

This summer I am honored to be interning with a world-changing organization -HazingPrevention.Org. This non-profit organization has one goal, to empower others to prevent hazing. Seems simple, right? I thought so too to be honest. I've never had a serious 'issue' with hazing. I mean, on the hazing scale I would say my experience have been on the less severe side of the equation. My memories from my sorority experience are nothing short of amazing. Every moment I spent with my sisters was a moment that I knew I would never get back, and we lived those moments as such. I did this even more so as a first year student. As a high school student, I had limited experience with alcohol; by that I mean I never drank. So when I came to college and joined a sorority, I drank [Yes, mom and dad, it happened]. I began hanging out with girls I thought were popular in my organization. I wanted to be popular too. After all, one of five basic human needs is belonging (Choice Theory). I lived this way until one very crucial moment- a moment I will forever remember.

One Sunday after a chapter meeting, I was asked to say behind to speak with a senior member of the sorority. She pulled me aside and talked to me about the social we had just had the Thursday before. Even thought others had told me I was out of control -I did not care. I was living in the moment with no concern for the next day including class, how I was portraying the sorority, or myself for that matter. I was a problem. This senior member looked me in the eye and instead of saying "I'm not happy with the way you acted", she said "Bonny if you keep going down this track, you may not be in Zeta next year". So basically, I would just stop being a Zeta. At the time those words didn't mean much to me at the time. Sure I was scared and nervous of loosing friends, opportunity, and partying, but other than that, it was just an organization. But looking back those words as I sit in this chair, it breaks my heart. I understand that as a 18-year-old I could never quite understand. This older member continued to simply brake down and ask me questions about how I was acting. It was simple, yet made the biggest difference. She asked me to stop acting the way I was acting and to live up to the values of our founders. She had me sit down and go through our sorority initiation ritual. I took it all in. Every word. Every action as I played back the ceremony in my head from my initiation. Then she asked me to evaluate the creed. She asked me what I thought it meant, and from there I've found the words I live by. "To realize that within our grasp in Zeta Tau Alpha lies the opportunity to learn those things which will even enrich and ennoble our lives".

Let's break it down.

... So to I had to understand the fact that within this organization I held an opportunity, it was MY chance, to grow, to learn, and to develop into the women I wanted, into  the women Zeta's founders pictured. But this chance was in my hand and I had the power to figure out what I wanted to do with it. So from that moment on, I never took another chance or opportunity for granted because this first line of my creed applies to more than just Zeta Tau Alpha. It applies to whatever organization you are in. Whether it be band, a fraternity, a job position, or other experience I am able to have. But if it weren't for this older member of my sorority saying "you need to stop it" I may not have had this experience or chance to realize what my organization means to me.

It's similar to the police officer. If the police officer would have never asked the man in the car to stop, he would have simply continued rolling through the stop sign, just as I would have continued rolling through my sorority experience if it were not for that older member.

Often times we think no one is watching what we are doing. Whether its rolling through a stop sign on a desolate street or partying a little to hard at a sorority function; cheating on a test or skipping out early to lunch; people, including me, often do not understand integrity. If you wouldn't do it in front of a police officer, your sorority founders, boss, or friend, you should probably not do it simple because you think you are alone. However, it often takes a brave person to step up and talk to you about how you are acting, about how you should be acting. And whether thats a police officer or a sorority older member, its those people in your life that make you realize how much opportunity you truly have right within your reach -and to me, its these people, this sorority older member, that I am thankful for everyday.

"There are two types of evil people in this world. Those who do mean things and those who watch as mean things happen"- Janis Ian, Mean Girls

Becoming a Big: When are you ready to become a role model?

I dare you to watch this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T_o1P3ujhlo
Then read on....

Growing up, I always wanted a brother or sister. As an 'only child', I craved for someone to play with, look up to, have fun with, and pick on. My parents were there for me through it all, but for those of you with siblings, I am sure you know what I mean. You have a bond with a sibling unlike any other. This bond is different and unique, especially with sisters.

When I started college in Fall 2006, I wanted nothing more than to find a group of friends and have a good time -starting with the good time, and the friends would follow. Well, during the first 2 weeks, recruitment started and one of my only friends I knew my first year wanted me to go through recruitment with her- I did. I pledged. I joined. I fell in love. 

But through this 4 year experience, I started forming a family. And with 3 amazing littles, my family tree is still growing strong. For southern sassy women, we go crazy to find that perfect little. They have to dress adorable, look adorable, and represent themselves heir big, and their organization adorably and in lady-like fashion. If they don't hold up to that end of the bargain, we question why they got into the organization in the first place. 

I love my littles very much, but I could not have three more different women. My first little, Liz, is a vivacious, full of life, outgoing, double-dog-dare-you type of woman. She brings light to anyone she comes in contact with and I knew she and I would be great friends. When I first met Liz, the first thing she said to me was "are you married?!" -Priceless! Since I met her when I was an orientation leader in 2007, I knew she was someone who would make a difference in Zeta and in my life. We are friends before we are big and little. We always have been more like friends than big and little -and that is okay, it's just our relationship. My second little, Savannah is more my twin. We are more like biological sisters than big and little. Not only do we look alike, but we also act very similar. Savannah is one of the sweetest people I have ever met. Everyone she meets loves her and she instantly puts a smile on your face. I was blessed to have Savannah as a little, she helped me feel comfortable in my own skin. Last but not least is my third little -Allison. From the moment I met Allison during fall recruitment in 2009, I knew I wanted her as my little. This little nugget will always hold a special place in my heart. I feel that I was the 'best' big to Allison. This nugget makes me smile from ear to ear and she is more a genuine little sister to me than anything. She often challenged me to grow and it was always for the better. She gave me something I always wanted -a little sister.

As I look back at my time with my littles, I think of how my relationships changed over the course of my time, my maturity, and my roles in my organization. Yes MY growth, not my littles growth. As a big, an involved member, and as a graduate assistant in a Greek Life office, I see organizations focus on the role of the big TO the little, instead of the role of the big ON the big. In other words, sorority women will get upset at a big who is not doing their job, but how does a 18 year old woman serve as a mentor to a women who is only about 6  months younger than they are?

As I look at my littles, I look at how my relationships with them grew over the years. It changed drastically, as did I. Let's be honest, in Greek organizations, we often bond with our bigs and little through socials, parties, and nights out on the town. Big often want a little with the same lifestyle as them and can go out and have a good time and be good friends with. If you chose your little for a different reason, your an exception to the rule- Trust me.

Liz and I during 2008 Big/Little reveal

I remember one of the first nights I went out with Liz. It was a week after she got into Zeta and myself along with other members of my pledge class decided to get all our littles together to go out for a fun night; and fun it was. Maybe a little to much fun. As a sophomore, I was under 21 - I drank, a lot. Not only did I drink, I gave my little drinks and shots, and then made her drive me and by big to the bar where we all continued to drink. I had no care for what would happen next. I was living for the moment and wanted my little to do the same. Everyone else was doing it so why shouldn't we. I didn't want to be the 'lame' big.

Savannah and I at a sister's wedding in Fall 2011.

With Savannah, things were a bit "better". I was a junior, Savannah was a sophomore, we were roommates, and things were great! We both were still under 21. But when we drank, it was mostly at home during our annual Say Yes to the Dress marathons, nail painting sessions, and planning our weddings. But we did have the occasional evening out. Even though we celebrated in style, we drank too much. We partied hard, and didn't care who saw. When I turned 21, I bought Savannah drinks, gave her my drinks, and we always had a good time.

Allison and I in Spring 2011 having a fun night out.

I remember the first week Allison was in Zeta. One particular encounter at a favorite Fort Myers restaurant, Ale House.  As a senior now, I knew the different groups in my sorority. Every organization has them, there is the quiet group, the outgoing group, the bubbly blondes, the party girls, the academic excellence girls, and the high-nosed betterment-for-the-organization girls; just to name a few. I'm not sure where I fit in, but it was not with the party group. During that night at Ale House, Allison started to hang out with the party group. For some time, I was nervous that she would no longer want me as a big because I didn't fit into that group. I pulled her aside about a week later and told her what I stood for, and it was not partying. I also told her I wanted to be her big if she would still have me. 4 weeks later, Allison became my little. Over the year, we went out a few times, and we drank together and I always kept an eye on my little nugget. I made sure she was not in an uncomfortable situation, in danger, and always had a designated driver, even if it had to be me- even though I am of age. I looked our for her and in order to do that I had to be more of a responsible drinker and took other into consideration when I went out or drank.

So let's focus on the actions of the big sister- from my sophomore year to senior year, I went from forcing my little to take shots at a party where we then drove to a bar, to drinking responsibly with my little and ensuring she was safe at all times. Instead of focusing on the little's experience, I truly think that focusing on the experience, education, and development of the big will create a worth-while experience for the little. Enhance the role model, and the little will grow too.

Its natural for every member to grow and develop over 4 years. Its called student development. Know that I am learning about it, I think the most important thing an organization can do is educate the big sisters. As I grew up in Zeta Tau Alpha, I was able to see past me wearing my letters in the mirror. I was able to see me in my letters, backed by my littles in their letters, backed by my big, my sisters, my national sisters, my alumni, my national office, my founders, and every other person associated with Zeta Tau Alpha. It was at this moment I realized my actions affected all of those around me. But this lightbulb moment did not happen over night. I had to grow up. All of us have to grow up. But what are we doing as an organization to help our bigs be the best big, role model, and sister they can be. It's the development of our members that creates a sustainable organization.

So how do we know when members are ready to become a big? Do we want young members taking a little when they act like a little themselves? Where is the line between Big Sister and friend drawn? What do you think?

How does your organization educate their members long term? Email me or post a response to this post with your education 101 tips!

Wait What: Picking your little
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T_o1P3ujhlo
Southern ladies, it's funny, but its true. "A big little relationship is all about showing your little how to be hot".
Oh really?! Glad I found this out now!

Lightbulb Moments

Every day I wake up proud of the person I am. How many people can genuinely say that? But it's taken me a lot of years to get to where I am and be who I am today. Family, friends, sorority sisters, fraternity brothers, my faith, bosses, mentors, siblings and great loves have all influenced the person I am. It is something I would never change, never take back.

Over the years, I have had my "light bulb moments" (thank you Oprah) where I wake up and realize I need help, I need guidance, I need support. I've also had the moments where I realize I can attribute who I am to a specific time, event, or person. Every time I have one of these moments, I wonder how different my life would be if it wasn't for (insert your 'what if' here)... in my present day case- What if I never joined a sorority? Every sorority women, maybe even fraternity man, has this moment where they consider 'what if', but most never really do much with it. But as a graduate student at Bowling Green State University who is majoring in College Student Personnel and a focus on Greek Life, I choose to take it one step further.

I became a sister of Zeta Tau Alpha in fall 2006, September 10 to be exact. I remember recruitment, the memories, and the emotions I had trying to choose an organization I wanted to be a part of for the rest of my life. I remember meeting the president of my chapter, (Kappa Tau shout out) Liz Perez and thinking I must have been special because the president knew my name. I remember thinking this would be a life changing experience that would make me a better person. I knew it would provide fun and give me something to do on the weekend at a school that didn't have much to do. I knew it would make me someone, something, bigger than what I was alone. And while I was naive about some of these things, my sorority experience did not disappoint. I went on to become very involved, holding numerous positions and gaining the respect of the chapter members, alumni, and national council. I worked hard at my sorority experience. I often joked to family and friends that I was majoring in Greek Life and minoring in Orientation, who would have thought this would be true.

In 2009, I met my mentor and a best friend, Cal Majure. This man forever changed the course of my life. A fellow Greek -Cal is a Pi Kappa Phi- Cal had just graduated from Bowling Green State University and came to work at my undergraduate institution, Florida Gulf Coast University. As the assistant director of orientation and new student programs, Cal brought a lot of much-needed change to the department. I had previously served as an Orientation Leader in 2007 and loved my position. I wanted desperately to breaking back into the New Student Program world. Cal was the one way I could get back involved. After getting involved and holding a large leadership role with orientation in 2010, Cal sat me down and began to discuss my future. He questioned me about my passions, what motivates me, and what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. I knew I wanted to educate people and make a difference. I also knew that my sorority was giving me more than my degree. The next words out of Cal's mouth made my life different: "You know you can do that for a living, right?". Cue the lightbulb moment.

From that moment on, the next year and a half of my life was a whirlwind. I separated from a long time boyfriend, dated others, applied to graduate school at Bowling Green where Cal went to school, taught professionally for 6 months, visited Bowling Green, got accepted to Bowling Green, quit my job, packed up whatever could fit in my SUV and moved from Florida to Ohio (Hello, culture shift!), created a 'home' where I knew no one, started over, started classes, moved to Berea, starting working in res life and Greek life,  was reconnected me with the love of my life (Thanks, Cal!), was put on academic probation, reevaluated my life, learned a lot, got off academic probation, and finish my first year of graduate school. Needless to say, a lot changed and a lot happened.

Above all, my life changed form one lightbulb moment and I realized if I had never joined Zeta Tau Alpha, I would not the the person, have the people in my life, or have the opportunities that lay before me. If I were never Greek, I would still be teaching (which I loved doing) and not following my dream. If i never joined a sorority, I would not be writing this blog. They say everything happens for a reason. When I went through recruitment in 2006 with a friend, I never thought my life would be changed to this extreme. But thinking back, the lightbulb moments from September 2006 onward, have changed my life for the better.

Cal and I during my first visit to BGSU in Fall 2010.

What lightbulb moments have forever changed your life? Feel free to post or email me at bvboutet@gmail.com with a response.